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Shut Up Shut Up and Sing!
As many of you have heard by now, NBC -- and possibly the CW -- are refusing to air ads for the new Dixie Chicks documentary, Shut Up and Sing, which is premiering today in New York City and Los Angeles.
NBC wrote that it "cannot accept these spots as they are disparaging to President Bush." Here is my response to this controversy, which is not necessarily the opinion of the Dixie Chicks, MSN, my family, or all Asian people:
Hurray for NBC! The new documentary Shut Up and Sing suggests that censorship is still alive in America in the 21st century. But we all know that this is false.
By refusing to air the ad, NBC loudly and rightly conveys the message that censorship no longer exists. NBC is embodying the most fundamental of democratic principles, which is to protect our freedom of speech by purging and sanitizing our nation from thinkers like the Dixie Chicks. Unfortunately, NBC's patriotism should still be questioned because it has yet to silence Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, and the writers of Saturday Night Live, who have all disparaged President Bush and therefore engaged in treason. Moreover, the National Broadcasting Company continues to employ Adrian Pasdar, one of the stars of Heroes, who is also married to Natalie Maines a.k.a. Satan's mistress and Saddam's sugar mama. And quite frankly, that colorful NBC peacock logo looks a bit too much like the gay rainbow flag, which is a threat to both my masculinity and my ability to suppress my prurient desires to cuddle with Dick Cheney.
Nonetheless, it is the mark of a truly democratic and free society that we should have multiple networks brave enough to silence dissenters and air Deal or No Deal several times a week.
I'm sure if the architects of our Bill of Rights had a MySpace page, they would post that Shut Up and Sing should just shut up and go straight to video.
Let's all call the NBC switchboard at 212/664-4444 now and thank them for spreading the message that any movie blasphemously exposing censorship in America deserves to be banned!
This is just the beginning, fellow patriots. In order to kill all interest in this film, perhaps we should pass a Constitutional amendment banning Shut Up and Sing from ever seeing the light of day.
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