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All-AccessAn exclusive, on-going look into the world of the Dixie Chicks The Final PostDear Future Curator of the Dixie Chicks Museum: Call me! This, my friends, is my final post. I snapped the photo above shortly before packing away all the various press badges, tour itineraries, photos, magazines, newspaper clippings, posters, mementos, and Mentos. What you see above represents a small fraction of the souvenirs I've collected in my two years of serving as the Man Ass (a.k.a. Management Assistant) and exclusive blogger to the Dixie Chicks. But what's not packed away into that giant time capsule are all the mad crazy memories that I've accumulated and attempted to convey over the course of over 75,000 words. I will cherish the time I spent with those of you whom I met on this crazy journey. As I've said before, you really did make me feel like a rock star, even though the only underwear ever thrown at me was by a homeless man in Oakland. I cannot begin to fully express my deep gratitude for the support of you, the fans (the Chickheads?) and the readers of this blog. It has been a great pleasure and the greatest of privileges. Here is a link to my final article, which attempts to encapsulate two years of life, behind-the-scenes, with the Dixie Chicks. One day, I hope we will meet again. Until then, may all the best be yours. My Favorite Photos #1 - 25In case you missed the previous posts, I went through all my photos from the last two years with the Dixie Chicks, ranked my 75 favorite (approved) pics, and added brief commentary. I've already posted # 51 - 75 and #26 - 50. Here below, at last, are my Top 25. #1: I love this photo, as a photo, and I love remembering the exact moment I took the photo. Martie was practicing “Landslide” backstage in New York City’s Jazz at Lincoln Center before the Time 100 event. This was one of the rare moments where I heard Martie sing and play an instrument, all by herself. (I’ve heard Natalie sing a cappella and practice the acoustic guitar plenty of times. I’ve also heard Emily pick up the banjo a few times before a show to warm up.) It was one of those moments were I realized the full extent of the privilege of following the Dixie Chicks. #2: Dirty Sexy Money! I told Natalie I wanted a photo of her with her $100 winnings, which she received from Emily for saying “Borgata” ten times during the show at the Borgata Hotel & Casino. She obliged and gave me a stunning pose with five portraits of Alexander Hamilton. #3: I have an entire collection of photos of Emily making ridiculous poses and faces like this one. Her self-deprecation is one of her greatest assets. Her ability to wear a tiger print dress is another.
#4: In the arcade of a bowling alley in Albany, New York, Natalie was playing a shooting game. When I walked up to snap a pic, she turned to me and made this pose for half a second, right when I snapped the photo, and then went back to her game. After I posted this, fans used it as their avatars and altered it to make all kinds of crazy spin-offs. Too bad this photo couldn’t have been sold as tour merchandise. If I got rid of the background, enlarged it, and added the tagline “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition,” I’m pretty sure the resulting poster would’ve been one of the biggest selling items on the tour. By the way, that's bass player Sebastian Steinberg in the background looking like a loony grandmother. #5: When it comes to photos triggering an emotional response, this picture is #1 in my book. I took this picture in the Chicks’ dressing room at the Grammy Awards at the exact moment when the Chicks won the "Record of the Year" Grammy. All their handlers and assistants were watching the TV screen with pure joy on their face. Many of the people involved in show business are jaded and rarely moved, but this was a clear exception. It was probably the first time that I asborbed how much love everyone had for the chicks. By the way, that's publicist Cindi Berger in the middle who looks like her child had just won the national spelling bee. #6: This is not a posed picture. Cory, the Tour Assistant, has the job of doing a million tasks, including whatever the Dixie Chicks request/ask/demand. One of the few moments where she gets to relax is when the Chicks are on stage. In Las Vegas, I captured this photo of her, utterly exhausted, while "Taking The Long Way" was being performed. #7: After Natalie saw this photo of her doing sudoku on stage in London, she said something to me along the lines of, “Hey, your photography skills are getting better. Too bad Chad seems to be picking his nose.” #8: There’s not many people who can pull off a pink guitar ... but here’s one. #9: Martie will apparently use any means to get rid of the things stuck between her teeth. #10: I can tell that two years have passed when I look back at this – we look so young! This is the first one the four of us took together. I had a few friends who didn’t believe that I was actually spending my time with the Dixie Chicks; for them, this photo served as the photographic evidence that silenced their accusations of lies. My thanks to Mindi Pelletier for taking this photo and giving me the best souvenier from the experience. #11: Natalie and Dean wanted to take a picture for Trent who runs the excellent blog, “Pink is the New Blog” (http://pinkisthenewblog.com). We took this backstage in Austin City Limits. Trent put the photo on his main page and gave me photo credit. I approve! LOLOLOL! #12: I could be the most aggressive macho juiced-up defensive tackle and I would still have to acknowledge that this photo is pretty damn adorable. #13: Like many other hardcore DCX fans, these two girls were having the time of their lives during the show. When I handed them a pick that Natalie’s tech gave me, they were thrilled beyond measure. Here's hoping they've used this pick to learn guitar and become the next great singer-songwriters. I'm going to be mighty disappointed if I find it, in a few years, at a garage sale underneath their torn Hannah Montana charms. #14: Emily gets the credit for the idea behind this photograph. However, that won’t stop me from taking home the blue ribbon in my county fair’s color photography contest. #15: This photo – a sign at Shepherd’s Bush in London – is enlarged and framed on my wall. When Martie saw it, she suggested that it would be a great addition to the tourbook. Sadly, that tourbook never actually ended up being produced.
#16: Emily really loves performing on stage ... even to an entirely empty arena during rehearsals. #17: I’m still waiting, US Weekly, for your call, asking my permission to reprint this photo of Martie in a tight wetsuit on the Australian waves. #18: Oh, the rock and roll lifestyle may sound glamorous, but we had some very long days during the tour. This is Larry Knechtel, the keyboard legend, catching 40 winks. #19: There were moments when I would forget that the Dixie Chicks have millions of fans. The moment when I took this photo at the top level of a packed hockey arena in Winnipeg ... was not one of them. Look how many people are standing! #20: This is the first moment when the Dixie Chicks actually held five Grammy Awards in their hands. Most of the time I see them pose for press photos, they rarely smile. (And when they do smile, it’s usually manufactured.) But in this photo, those smiles are nothing but genuine. #21: Here are Emily’s twins, Henry and Juliana. During the tour, each of the seven peeps had headphones with their names on it. I like this pic because of Juliana's deep stare, which often makes me think that she has the gentle soul of an older poet. #22: I took this photo of Martie in a dressing room in a rehearsal space. I credit Emily (the budding photographer) for giving me the idea to take this picture. #23: I don’t know what Martie is staring at, but whatever it is, it’s obviously disgusting to Martie. I like that you can see both sides of Martie's profile. #24: It’s one thing to have a great Streisand costume. It’s another thing to embody Babs, right down to the hand poses. #25: Plenty of fans wore custom-designed shirts to the shows. But not many were tough-looking, middle-aged, balding Brits with ale in their hands. These guys remind me that Dixie Chicks fans come in all shapes and sizes and that I should never refer to myself as Earl. Unanswered QuestionsBig Pimple After sending out a request for any last-minute questions, I ended up receiving an avalanche of queries. I tried packing lots of replies into the final article, but some subjects ended up on the cutting room floor. Unfortunately, most of the questions were unanswerable -- e.g., "When will the next album come out?", "Will the Chicks perform in ___?", "What happened to the extended edition of Shut Up and Sing?", "When are the Chicks going to release another video?", "Why hasn't Natalie responded to my love letters?". Not even the Dixie Chicks know the answer to some of those questions. There were also lots of questions directed at the Chicks that I didn't have the opportunity to have answered. And there were some I just want to ignore. ("What does Emily smell like?" -- really?) But there were some questions directed at me that I have attempted to answer below: * Q: What was the most surreal experience of the whole time you were with The Chicks? A: I mentioned a few of the more bizarre experiences in the farewell article. Surfing with Emily and Natalie comes to mind. Carrying Emily's bra. Singing a karaoke duet with Natalie. Seeing fans with signs at concerts with my name on it. But the no-boundaries nature of our conversations stick out the most. One odd topic involved my hypothetical future son’s samurai sword. During the last day of the tour, the Chicks and I were discussing parenthood and somehow landed on the subject of whether I think boys should be circumcised for non-religious reasons. (My wife wants to snip, but I wanted to leave my son intact, especially because of the high risk of infections.) Natalie, who sympathized with my opinion, talked to me about how to avoid the risks – go to a urologist’s well-lit office the next day! – and shared her research on the ultimate health benefits of circumcision. I left the conversation converted. (Dear future son of mine: If you resent the loss of your foreskin, blame the Dixie Chicks!) * Q: What are the chances we'll see a video of Natalie singing "Rehab" at her Halloween party? A: I filmed a lot of video that MSN didn't end up using for various reasons. I think I filmed Natalie singing "Rehab" at the Halloween party but the video quality probably isn't great since I was too busy laughing. I'd have to ask Natalie's permission to share the video, however, so we'll see. * Q: Where is the best place to sit during a Dixie Chicks concert? A: Most audio experts will tell you that the front row in a concert hall is not the best place to be; you should be at least a few rows back to receive the ideal auditory experience. That said, Martie is wonderful about acknowledging people who are waving to her, dancing, or holding up signs -- mainly because she's most likely to have the time and free hands to say hi. So if you want one of the Chicks to acknowledge your "Voice Inside My Head" tattoo on your face, I'd sit as close as possible to Martie. * Q: Did you ever get to play another game with Natalie (after the Yahtzee incident)? A: No. But I don't think that was because Natalie banned me from playing Yahtzee with her. (Or so I would like to believe.) * Q: What was the funniest moment? A: The "Fresh Air" experience: http://dixiechicks.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=595836. After I saw Martie giggling, I couldn't keep a straight face if my life had depended on it. I will never forget that moment when Martie and I had tears in our eyes. * Q: Do you think you will maintain contact with the Chicks after this all ends? A: I'm sure we might email each other. But they have a million friends, so I doubt I'll get an invite to their next Bat Mitzvah. You have to keep in mind that while they might have enjoyed my company, I represented a huge invasion on their privacy and was a minor nuisance, what with my constant flashing camera and persistent questions. I think some people get the impression that I am best friends with the Dixie Chicks and that we have slumber parties and drink milk and cookies while watching John Hughes films. But it's not true - we have hot cocoa and cupcakes, not milk and cookies. * Q: Was it hard being away from your wife as a newlywed? A: Always. * Q: Is there anything that you were hoping would happen but didn't? A: Gareth, Martie's husband, and I spent a lot of time talking smack about our respective Scrabble skills. Initially, we vowed to play $100 a game. Over time, that number escalated. But we never ended up playing a game. (Perhaps we were both scared of losing hundreds of dollars.) * Q: Is there a distinct moment when your respect for the Chicks rose? A: There were plenty of moments. Here's one: during the rehearsals for the Accidents and Accusations Tour, the Chicks were thinking of a new song to cover for the tour. I suggested Prince's "Raspberry Beret." I thought it was a good idea. I've never heard anybody cover it. Plus, it has string parts that Martie could play. But Martie asked me if the lyrics were meaningful. I said no. She then rejected the idea. That made me appreciate the idea that the Chicks do not pick their cover songs lightly. * Q: Why don't you write a book about your experiences? A. I'd love to. Know any interested publishers? * Q: Do you have a favorite Dixie Chick? A: No. I was prepared to. But I honestly don't, even though I have different bonds with all three. Emily's sense of humor is probably the most similar to mine. (Only Emily would think of posing with a bottle of Vaseline after winning five Grammy awards.) Natalie and I probably have the most to talk about, mainly because we both listen to Howard Stern and have strong opinions about random subjects. And Martie is probably the most open and friendliest. But choosing my favorite Dixie Chick would be like choosing my favorite child or my favorite body part. * Q: Would you entertain the idea of blogging for the Chicks again? A: Because I feel a deep loyalty to the Chicks, I would seriously consider anything they wanted. But if the Chicks ever had the need for another blogger, I think maybe it would be better to have somebody else do it, so the world can get to know the Chicks through a different sent of eyes. * I tried to get as many questions as possible. For those that I didn't have a chance to answer, I will send you a reply through a Ouija board or a Magic 8-Ball. The Penultimate ArticlesMother and Daughter Worry About the Hamster in the Oven? There are two new articles on the main DCX page! Before my time ran out, I had the chance to interview three women who have had a profound impact on the Dixie Chicks, and especially, Natalie Maines. The first article is an interview with Natalie's charming mother, Tina Maines, and her lovely sister, Kim Maguire. Tina and Kim, who are both excellent photographers, proved to be very difficult to photograph, as the above picture indicates. Whenever they saw my camera pointed at them, they'd quickly look away. (I had a better chance of capturing Bigfoot!) Thankfully, they were willing to talk. Even better, they let loose some hilarious trivia about Natalie. http://dixiechicks.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5877225 The second article is the result of an interview with Andrea, the woman discussed in "Not Ready To Make Nice." Andrea once attended an anti-Dixie Chicks protest; the footage of her was subsequently broadcast across the country and ended up in Shut Up and Sing. She was the one who told her young child to say "Screw the Dixie Chicks!" You'll be amazed to read what she has to say today. http://dixiechicks.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5817958 With these two articles published, there remains only one. My Favorite Photos #26 - 50
For the Top 25, you'll just have to wait until Kwanzaa when I return from a much-needed vacation! Happy Holidays, everyone!
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Here are twenty must-read articles on the main MSN Dixie Chicks page.
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